If you read my Please Reject Me blog, you'd know I'm a big fan of traditional publishing. So, it's probably surprising I struck out on my own. But if you haven't, I'll make this clear- I've had a lot of respect for self-published authors, but I didn't have any interest in taking on all the extra tasks associated with publishing a book. With five kids and an autoimmune disease—I wanted all the help I could get.
What happened?
Well, Dreaming in Subtitles happened.
Let's back up. When I shelved my last (rejected) book and started writing another, I had every intention to repeat the process. Nothing went the same, though. The first oddity was my beta readers were extremely positive. Now, positivity is nice and all, but I try to cultivate beta readers that are willing to lovingly rip me to shreds. It's never a good feeling to be torn down, but I view it as a necessary part of the process. I did get some excellent (gut-wrenching) notes, but they were more straightforward to fix than usual.
I was still in the midst of the (perplexing) process of getting hard feedback when I got an email congratulating me on winning the Kay snow award from Willamette Writers. The first chapter of my book landed me a chance to go to the Willamette Writers Conference- an experience I would not have been able to afford otherwise. Even now, I can't express what a dream come true that was.
This is where I had my first chance to pitch my book to agents. And where I first discovered Dreaming in subtitles had a big problem—the same one that, later on, seemed attached to many of my rejection letters.
This book was impossible to categorize.
Was it YA? The protagonist lives her life again as a teenager—but you "can't" have a 30 something as a YA lead. A crossover is a hard sell to convince the industry on. What category was it in? Time Slip? No-that falls under the Sci-Fi umbrella. Alternate history? No, it can't be because the time changes aren't on a large enough scale. I felt like it was closest to Magical Realism, but even that was hard to explain.
In short, I'd written a well-received categorical failure.
My beta readers were still coming through with praise, and I was quickly aware that this book wasn't going to do well with anyone but readers.
Easy fix--shelve Dreaming in Subtitles, write the next book, and possibly come back around to publish it once I'd become more established. But DIS was about a 30 something woman going back to the '90s. If it came out in twenty years, it wouldn't feel right to the readers. Plus, I couldn't see how the book would be rewritten when the MC was older due to the book's scope.
Not just a categorical failure, but a ticking time bomb.
It's one thing to write a bad book, another to write something people like and still be dead in the water. The worst part? How could I be sure the next few books I write wouldn't have the same problem?
The funny thing is, I already had a cover. I always draw as I write, and I'd hoped that my art would go along with my book as a package deal in some way. I knew I'd be assigned a cover by a publishing house, but I hoped to ask if they could use my art anywhere, even if not in the book, maybe just on my website.
I also have a wildly supportive husband who took me by the hand said we could save up for an editor.
And who was I writing for? The industry or readers?
No matter how I dug my heels in, it looked like being an indie author was the best fit.
That's how it all got started. It took two years, but we hired the perfect editor for my book. Then, finally, I was joyfully overwhelmed with a wonderfully marked-up manuscript that I could sink my teeth back into.
I still think self-publishing is a harder route if you're looking for pre-publication rejection like I am, but in the end, what works best for the book is the most important part.
So yeah, I self-published! Even punishment gluttons like myself can be Indy authors.
If you enjoyed this piece, please follow Winter Krane on Twitter @WinterKrane.